My World Came Together As One
Her Essence- the makings of me
Today you see a strong woman, wife, mother, daughter, niece, sister, cousin, and dear friend. You can relate I'm sure. I wear confidence like it's my wardrobe. Possess clear boundaries that respect my sanity. Would you believe me if I told you I knew exactly who I was going to marry? Well, I did. Seven years to exact. The good news came on one of the worse days in my life. Let me say that it was one of those types of days every woman fears. It was on a day my normal had been snatched right away from me. But F.O.C.U.S Faith got me through it. All of that sounds pretty good, right? Let me be the first to tell you, I had to go through some things. I like to call my journey "a beautiful mess". I have survived heartache, pain, suicide attempts, abortion, sexual violation, betrayal, and even a few steps on the wild side. I don't regret any part of my life. Every piece; good and bad were pieces of the puzzle that created the beautiful masterpiece that you see today. Because of my imperfect flaws and rare cut; I'm not only qualified, but I am on time to serve those assigned to me.
"my normal was snatch right away from me."
Total Faith/ Season of Humbleness
Unemployment couldn't have happened at a better time. I am so thankful for the warning signs before the destruction. Before the news of my lay off , I had many sleepless nights. A pulling/tugging at my heart. It didn't take me long to discern that God was up to something. I knew God was calling me higher. I received my assignment during a spiritual fast, six years before I said yes to God. What took so long may be what you're wondering. In my defense, let me tell you a secret. I am a behind the scenes kick-butt kind of girl. So giving me an assignment to help, elevate, and empower women across the globe was frightening and completely out of my comfort zone. That activated fear that paralyzed me. Lastly, I loved my job. I was knocking on the door of making six-figures without having a degree. Jokes on me, might I add for being disobedient. When I look back, I now know that
the restlessness and pulling I felt, were warning signs that things were about to get stirred up. It's funny how God has a way of pushing and calling us out dry places to lift us higher. I was the happiest unemployed woman during that season. Not knowing how bills were going to get paid. My layoff overlapped with my husband's layoff. We had three kids to feed, and the only source of income were unemployment checks. They were not enough to cover our bills. Thankful for my gift of being highly intuitive, and because of my talks and my relationship with God, I knew He was at work on my behalf. I knew that I had to go through that season so that I could reach back to grab a queen by the hand, to pull her through. There's a reason for everything we face, and there are reasons for every season. I accepted my reality. I walked and handled God's business, and because of that, God took care of my business. There was plenty of light in the darkness.
"There's a reason for everything we face, and there are reasons for every season"
How Did I Do It?
I identified the most challenging moments in my life. I did an assessment that focused on my growth after the struggle. I made a list of the things learned; made it my mission to apply it in every aspect of my life. I have always been different. I never fit in with the world around me. However, I was okay with that, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out how and why I had this disconnect. I would try to fit in with others. I have even done things things I would never ever see myself doing again. I got tired of trying to fit in. It left me feeling emotionally drained, unhappy and unfulfilled. One day I decided I was tired. Tired of living. Tired of being hurt, rejected and isolated. I tried to end it; my life that is. Fortunately I failed at that too. Which was my thought process at the time. As I sat in my bed, mad at myself for still be in this world that I tried to escape. God sent a message that pierced my heart. I heard the words; "you don't the right to take what you didn't give. There's work to be done." That day was the first day, of the rest of my best life. I accepted me for who I was and where I was; I forgave me and I went on a self -discovery journey. When I discovered myself, I found my purpose, my why, the ESSENCE of who I truly was. As I got to know me; the real Her. I fell in love with Her. I AM HER. In order for me to discover the real me; the one who's been hiding in plain sight; I had to die. The person I was had to be placed on the operating table. After going under open heart and soul surgery, I was made whole. I had eyes that saw beauty, kindness and hidden treasures I possessed all this time. My heart was beating to a rhythm that only I can vibe with. I was no longer bitter and unhappy. I had a heart full of love and compassion that extends to those who loved me, those who plotted and hated me and last but definitely not least, myself. To wrap it up nicely, I simply unveiled, to soar into my significance.